Feb 24, 2009

The Investigation

Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Boss: Okay, open up the books and lets see if there are any irregularities.

Officer: Boss, page 1 itself has so many. There are so many spelling mistakes.

Boss: You idiot, I am not talking about spelling mistakes, we are suppose to look for mismanagement or corrupt acts, you are a real donkey la.

Officer: If I am a donkey why then you took me in, in the first place? It was you who interviewed me.

Boss: I took you because I know you are a donkey. I took you in because I don't want thinking people around, just follow orders.

Officer: Oh and I thought you took me in because I was the cleverest of the Pemuda group in my kampung.

Boss: Just look for irregularities okay.

Officer: What about this. They passed housng projects on dangerous hillslopes?

Boss: Huh! When?

Officer: 2005.

Boss: No, nothing irregular.

Officer: They build kampung roads for 5 million a km in 2002.

Boss: No, next one.

Officer: They bought prime real estates in Mecca and later sold for the same amount, no profit at all. 2006 and 2007.

Boss: Can you get something more recent? Just look for something after 8 March 2008. All before that is unimportant.

Officer: But boss, those before that date are all irregular, how come you say they are not important?

Boss: Didn't I tell you that I took you in to just follow orders and not to think? I'll do the thinking here, that's why I am boss, head of this commission.

Officer: There is none that I can find.

Boss: What? None? Are you sure? Have you scrutinised everything?

Officer: Yep boss, every letter in every page, all I can find are some spelling mistakes.

Boss: What about that thing there?

Officer: What thing?

Boss: That one with the words 'lembu' there?

Officer: Oh, this one. There is nothing wrong boss. They bought cows to slaughter for the poor. Wah! they all good people la boss.

Boss: What they bought cows to slaughter for the poor? That is not right. They are not supposed to do that. Those people are poor because they chose to be so. Its not the government's business to help them.

Officer: But boss, this is for Hari raya Haji la boss, korban la boss.

Boss: What Raya Haji, what korban? This one cannot, it's mismanagement, it's improper.

Officer: But what's wrong boss?

Boss: Let me see the report. Look at the price. Why so cheap? If it had been the dentist, I am sure the price would have been higher, stupid people.

Officer: But boss, cheap la good. I cannot comprehend you la boss.

Boss: Like I said, you are not paid to think, just follow orders. Book him.

Kata Tak Nak

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